Yikes, friends. It has been awhile since I last posted, but I assure you it has not been because I am abandoning my quest to blog about my life here in Nashville. Rather, it’s just because I’ve been busy living my life here in Nashville, and if I’m being quite honest, because I’ve been a bit lazy and also avoiding being vulnerable, but more on that later. For now, I’d love to share with you my latest thoughts about this new year, what I’ve been learning the past couple months, and what’s to (hopefully) come for this blog!
Lately I’ve been reading The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis. For those of you who haven’t read it, the book is written from the perspective of one of the Devil’s “minions,” Screwtape, as he writes letters to another of the Devil’s minions, his nephew, Wormwood. In these letters, Screwtape passes on wisdom to his nephew on how to corrupt the human he has been assigned and draw the human away from the “Enemy,” God. But through these letters, we also get a glimpse, if we only read between the lines, of what the true enemy, the Devil, fears most, when it comes to our relationship with God. As I was reading the other day, I came across a passage that just really hit home. Here’s an excerpt (keep in mind when Screwtape refers to the Enemy, he is referring to God):
For the present is the point at which time touches eternity. Of the present moment, and of it only, humans have an experience analogous to the experiences which our Enemy has of reality as a whole; in it alone freedom and actuality are offered them. He would therefore have them continually concerned with eternity (which means being concerned with Him) or with the Present- either meditating on their eternal union with, or separation from, Himself, or else obeying the present voice of conscience, bearing the present cross, receiving the present grace, giving thanks to the present pleasure.
-C.S. Lewis
As I read this passage, I realized I struggle every day to just live in the present. I am constantly struggling to let go of my past, whether it be past relationships, mistakes, or decisions, and never cease to worry about my future- where will I get a job, will I have enough money saved, etc., etc. Rarely, do I stop to just live in the moment. To obey what God is calling me to do right this moment, to reach out to a person in need right now, to accept that God is extending me grace constantly, to give thanks for the fact there is a roof over my head and food in my belly at this very second. C.S. Lewis later goes on to make the point that the Present is the only thing that is real to us, the past has already happened and cannot be changed, and the Future is yet to come and no human can predict what will come to pass. So why is it so hard to accept the fact that we cannot change our past or future?
I wish I had the answer to that question, but I don’t. What I do know is that in 2015, I want to practice living in the moment. I want to stop hanging onto my past and while I think it’s still okay to plan for the future, I don’t want to spend every second of my day worrying about unknown, future circumstances that I can’t do anything about. So here is my list of “Living in the Moment” resolutions for 2015:
- Spend at least twenty minutes with Jesus everyday: Whether this is praying, reading my Bible, worshipping, or doing devotionals, I want to make sure Jesus gets some time just for Him everyday. While I also want to make Jesus a part of every aspect of my life, I also know I need to have some solo God time more often than not as well. However, I don’t want to beat myself up every time I miss a day or two. Hence, living in the moment. Each day is a fresh start. So, I forgot to do devotionals yesterday. Today is a new day and there is plenty of time for Jesus.
- Eat healthier: Being an athlete my whole life, I was never super concerned with how I fueled my body, because I knew I would burn it all off in practice and therefore never had to worry about gaining weight. Now that my life as an athlete is over, while I’m staying active, I’m also realizing the importance of fueling my body with good fuel. Therefore my goal for 2015 is to eat cleaner and smarter and I’m taking this day by day. There are plenty of days where I “cheat” and eat that ice cream or juicy cheeseburger I’ve been craving, but the next day I’m starting a clean slate with plenty of opportunity to choose clean over convenient.
- Open up: I want to start blogging at least once a month. I truly love writing and I also love sharing what I write. However, if I don’t feel inspired or I feel like what I wrote isn’t “good enough,” I hesitate to put it on the blog. But in 2015, I want to be intentional about journaling everyday and sharing my thoughts and adventures at least once a month, if not more, whether I like it or not, because no one ever got better at writing by keeping it to themselves. And that starts with choosing everyday to be vulnerable- whether it’s with myself or others or both.
- Save and spend smart: I’ve never been a shopaholic, but since moving to Nashville, I’ve definitely been spending a lot more money, especially on going out to eat. You would too if there was a delicious, original Nashville restaurant calling your name on every corner, and an abundance of Chipotles, Sonics, and Chick-Fil-A’s beckoning you when you’re getting home at 6, don’t feel like cooking anything, and have hours of homework ahead of you. But with a wedding and Jordan and I having to support ourselves approaching quickly (not to mention all that student debt I’m racking up) I’ve decided to get smarter with my finances. Which means everyday having to exercise the strength to say no to a delicious restaurant meal and say yes to a delicious home cooked one.
There you have them guys. This is what I want to focus on in 2015. All too often when I make resolutions I give up on them a month or two into the new year because I’ve already “failed” in my eyes because I wasn’t consistent enough. I’m hoping that by living in the moment and taking it one day at a time, these resolutions will stick longer and become lifestyle changes, because when I mess up, I won’t see it as a failure, but a chance to start over, learn from my mistakes, and try again.
What are your New Year’s Resolutions? How do you plan on sticking to them and reaching your goals? I’m looking forward to hearing from you guys and spending some more time with you on this blog!
Until next time,
E.
Navigating Nashville 